What to watch for when something doesn’t feel right
Most estate and trust problems don’t appear out of nowhere.
They show up first as small warning signs your brain notices and then tries to explain away.
This guide is here to say:
Your instincts matter. Let’s name the red flags so you don’t ignore them.
Seeing one of these doesn’t automatically mean there’s legal wrongdoing.
Seeing several together? That’s when it’s time to pay close attention.
Red Flag #1: Sudden, last‑minute changes to documents
Examples:
- A long‑standing will or trust is changed shortly before death
- New documents appear that completely cut out, add, or favor certain people
- The person signing was very ill, in pain, heavily medicated, or cognitively impaired
Context matters, but big last‑minute swings in who gets what often deserve scrutiny, especially if they favor someone newly in control.
Red Flag #2: Isolation of an elder
Watch for:
- Long‑time family and friends are suddenly blocked or discouraged from visiting
- Phone calls are screened or always go through one “gatekeeper”
- The elder seems more confused, scared, or withdrawn when that person is around
Abusers often isolate elders to control information and influence decisions.
Red Flag #3: Unusual financial activity
Examples:
- Large or unusual withdrawals or transfers from accounts
- New joint accounts opened with a caregiver or relative
- Credit cards or lines of credit opened that the elder doesn’t remember
- Property sold for far less than market value
If statements don’t match the elder’s normal habits, something may be wrong.
Red Flag #4: Pressure to “just sign” or “don’t worry about it”
Be cautious if:
- You or an elder are asked to sign documents without time to review
- Questions are brushed off with “it’s just paperwork”
- You’re discouraged from seeking your own legal advice
Real professionals expect and welcome questions. Abusers and manipulators often try to rush past them.
Red Flag #5: A trustee or executor refuses to account or communicate
Serious concerns if:
- The trustee or executor won’t provide basic information about assets or debts
- Accounting is promised but never delivered
- Requests for transparency are met with anger or silence
Fiduciaries (trustees, executors) have legal duties to keep beneficiaries informed. Stonewalling is not a good sign.
Red Flag #6: “This was all their idea” but it doesn’t sound like them
Pay attention if:
- New gifts or changes don’t fit the person’s long‑known values
- The elder has always been careful and suddenly becomes extremely generous with one person
- The explanation for changes is vague (“they just felt like it”) or doesn’t add up
Sometimes, the story being told doesn’t match the person you knew for years.
Red Flag #7: People in positions of trust suddenly benefit
Such as:
- A caregiver, new romantic partner, or advisor suddenly becomes the main beneficiary
- A person holding power of attorney or acting as trustee arranges transactions that benefit themselves
- Professionals (like advisors) step outside their expected role to get ownership or control
While not always illegal, self‑dealing is a serious concern in fiduciary relationships.
What should you do if you’re seeing these red flags?
You don’t need to confront anyone right away. In fact, sometimes that can make things worse.
Instead:
Gather what you can
- Copies of documents, statements, notices, and communications
Write down what you’ve observed
- Dates, changes, actions, and anything that felt “off”
Talk to a lawyer who handles these kinds of cases
- Explain what you’re seeing
- Ask what your options are and how time‑sensitive the situation may be
Your brain wants two things: safety and clarity. Naming these red flags and getting informed advice gives you both.
You’re not being “dramatic” for paying attention
Many clients tell us they worried for months or years before reaching out because they didn’t want to be “the difficult one.”
The truth:
- People who care enough to notice and ask questions are often the ones who protect an elder or an estate from real harm.
