A calm, practical checklist for a very hard month
When someone dies, time gets weird.
Part of you is grieving.
Part of you is suddenly managing calls, forms, and “urgent” questions.
It’s a lot.
This guide is not about how you should feel.
It’s about a clear, legal‑focused checklist for the first 30 days, so your brain has something solid to hold onto.
You don’t have to do all of this alone, and you don’t have to do it perfectly.
Days 1–5: Breathe, then gather basics
1. Get the death certificate started
Usually coordinated through:
- The funeral home
- The mortuary
- Or the hospital
You’ll need multiple certified copies later (often 5–10) for banks, insurance, and other institutions.
2. Secure the home and important items (if needed)
If your loved one lived alone or there’s tension among family:
- Make sure the home is locked and secure
- Safeguard important items (documents, valuables, sentimental items)
- Note who has keys or access
Your brain is looking for safety right now. Securing the physical space helps.
3. Locate basic information
You don’t need everything, just start with:
- Full legal name
- Date of birth and date of death
- Social Security number (if you can find it)
- Marital status and names of close family members
This will help when you start dealing with funeral, benefits, and banks.
Days 6–15: Find the plan (if there is one)
4. Look for a will or trust
Common places:
- A home file cabinet or fireproof box
- A safe or safety deposit box
- With the person’s attorney or financial advisor
Don’t stress if you can’t find it right away. Just note what you know:
- “I saw a will years ago.”
- “I think there’s a trust, but I’m not sure where it is.”
- “I don’t think anything was ever done.”
5. Make a simple list of assets and debts
Think big picture, not every detail:
- Real estate (addresses)
- Bank accounts (bank names)
- Retirement accounts (401(k), IRA)
- Life insurance (company names)
- Vehicles, businesses, or rentals
- Known debts (mortgage, credit cards, loans)
This doesn’t need to be perfect. It’s just to give a lawyer or advisor a starting map.
Your brain relaxes when chaos turns into a simple list.
Days 16–25: Pause big moves, get real answers
6. Avoid making irreversible decisions too quickly
If you’re being pressured to:
- Sign documents you don’t understand
- Accept a quick “deal” or payout
- Move out or sell property immediately
…slow down. Grief makes people vulnerable. Scammers and even well‑meaning family can push too hard.
A short conversation with a probate attorney can help you see:
- Which decisions truly are urgent
- Which ones can wait
- What your rights and options actually look like
7. Notify key institutions (light touch at first)
You may need to notify:
- Employer (if still working)
- Social Security Administration
- Life insurance companies
- Pension provider (if any)
Usually, a phone call to say, “My [relationship] has passed away, what do you need from me?” is enough to start. Don’t feel like you have to have every answer in that moment.
Days 26–30: Decide if you need legal help now
8. Ask yourself these questions
- Was there a will or trust?
- Are there real estate or significant assets in the person’s name alone?
- Are there tensions or disagreements already showing up?
- Is the bank or title company asking for “Letters” or court documents?
- Are you feeling lost about what’s supposed to happen next?
If you’re saying “yes” to several of these, it may be time to talk with a probate or trust administration attorney.
9. Understand the goal of that first meeting
You’re not committing to a multi‑year legal battle. You’re looking for:
- A clear explanation of your options
- A sense of timing and urgency
- Help figuring out whether probate, trust administration, or something else is needed
Even a short conversation can move you from fog → first step.
You’re allowed to take this one step at a time
There is no perfect way to handle the first month after a loss.
If you do nothing else, remember:
- Secure the basics
- Find (or confirm there is no) plan
- Make a simple list of what’s there
- Ask for help before making big, irreversible decisions
And if you’re already at the point where you need tailored guidance.
